The Craptank

I'm at church this morning, and the cantor (person leading everyone in song) is this woman who is tone deaf as all hell. Seriously, fingernails on a chalkboard sound more in tune than this bitch. I sing at church, and don't claim to be the next Pavoratti or anything, but I do have one of the better voices among the congregation. So the cantor decides to open her yap and belt out some horrid notes that were no where near what the organist was playing. I stood there, crossed my arms and stared directly at her. Well she saw me and it threw her off even more!

Then at the end of mass, some girl came up to the pulpit to invite everyone to the Catholic High School open house next weekend. Well this made the cantor feel she had to tell us that she went there and starts to tell a story. I, in my infinite wisdom, decided to give her the "wrap it up" sign. I thought I did it where she couldn't see, but I was wrong. As I was leaving the church, she chases me down and asks "Sir, do you like to sing?" I just kept walking and said no, and continued my beeline out of the church. I hear her say "Well I heard you singing to all the songs", which couldn't be farther from the truth. My father was, but it's not like she could confuse us. There were only 40 people or so at mass. I know she wanted to try and put the "If you think you can do better, than you do it" guilt trip on me, but I would have felt odd telling some middle aged skank to fuck off in the house of the Lord.

When I get into the truck, I tell my father what happens and he says "I know she can't sing, but you shouldn't have given her the sign to cut the commentary...but I'm glad you did". Nothing like being the spokesman for the mob!

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