Fuck Tucker, Tucker Sucks!

j-man Posted by: j-man on September 26 2007


If there's one person that seriously deserves to be paralyzed from the neck down and spend the rest of their life shitting into a plastic bag, it has to be Tucker Max.

If you haven't heard of this douche-nozzle yet, here's a quick synopsis: Only-child mama's boy prick graduates from some boarding school in Jersey and subsequently goes to college on mommy & daddy's dime, where he majors in Economics. He then proceeds to spend his time like most college kids who aspire only to claw their way into a middle management career: Going to parties, getting plastered, doing stupid shit, banging sluts, et cetera.

Sure, most everyone else that went to college spent a good amount of their time doing some or all of the above. So what's the big fuckin' deal you ask? The difference is that this shitweasel decides that he is so special and his stories are so great that he has to write a book about it, under the false pretense that he belongs to some kind of "alpha-male" genre. It would be more adequate to say that at best he's trying to be another Maddox, except that his material is weak, un-interesting, and un-funny.

Well wait a minute... If he was always shit-faced how in the hell could he possibly remember all of those "crazy" college stories? The mediocre tard carried around a voice recorder every time he went out to record whenever he said something funny or something amusing happened. Pathetic. I wonder if he ever stopped in the middle of boning a skank to pull out his voice recorder and remind himself of the time he got herpes.

Nobody gives a shit! Most of us have tons of great college stories. The difference is that we didn't walk around with a voice recorder lodged up our rectum in order to record and subsequently publish every dumb-ass moment. No matter what mommy and daddy say, you are not special!

Comments:

1.) Oh he's special alright...in the sense that he's a fucktard. I'm sure his
college stories are no where near as good as my "I boned a white skank and
allegedly fathered a black child in college" story. I never heard of this
guy, but I think he should be thrown down an elevator shaft. Posted by Minivan at 4:40am on Sep/26/2007
2.) Who ever posted this shit is the douche here to blame. you are a narrow minded
piece of shit and are jealous about all the publicity and not to mention
"money", that shit that he is reaping due to people like you who
obviously took the time to read the book as well as research him, this writer is
getting. You're a dumb fuckhead who should be punched in the head for your
stupidity. Tucker, weather you like or not, will be more famous than you would
ever dream. So just shove your thumb up your ass and wait until his new book and
movie come out. Posted by Charlie at 5:25pm on Apr/30/2008
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