The Craptank

With all of this media coverage of plane crashes in recent times, you'd think these things are just dropping out of the skies left and right. The Hudson incident, that commuter turboprop crash in Buffalo, the Turkish Airlines crash last week. All of this got me thinking about the infamous safety lecture that you get at the begging of each flight, and a wonderful nugget of information I heard recently.

A few months ago I was flying back to Seattle on a Southwest Airlines flight. After boarding the plane and settling in they begin the safety lecture. Now I normally don't pay attention during any of this because I've heard it dozens of times before, however one thing caught my attention.

As our middle aged, slightly overweight, slightly mannish flight attendant Lisa finished yapping about seat belts, she blurted out the following: "While we don't anticipate a change in cabin pressure, in the event that it happens, an oxygen mask will drop down..."

Wait a minute Lisa! Did you just say that you aren't anticipating a change in cabin pressure? Exactly how long have you had this job. Not only do I anticipate that the cabin pressure will change, I demand that it do so. Gradually. At a predetermined rate, based on the rate of climb or descent of the aircraft. Are you trying to tell me that the laws of physics has changed?

I realize that the average person is pretty fuckin' stupid, but there's no need to dumb it down so much. I think that most of us can grasp the simple concept that the pressure can and does change, and what you're really talking about is a rapid decompression.

And if you are too stupid to understand that, then you deserve to die.

I've often purchased items on eBay and then changed my mind or just needed something to use once. No problem, I'd just sell it back, but the fees are becoming out of hand. They used to be negligible, but now every feature has a fee. Say you want to start the bidding low and put a reserve price to protect you. You save on the insertion fee but it would cost $2.00 for the reserve feature. List in two categories and the fee there is doubled. But what really bugs me is Pay-f'in-pal. People either pay you via instant transfer or by credit card. 4.9% fee on credit card payments. Bank payments are free to accept, but only if you have a personal type account. If you accept a credit paypment, then your account must be upgraded to a business type account. Then even instant transfers have a fee (although its a lesser fee). I asked paypal to downgrade me back to personal status and they said fine, but it can only be done one time. Well, the next payment I received put my total payments received that month over $500. Turns out if you make over $500 per month you must upgrade to a business account. So, now I'm back to business status. So I opened another paypal personal account for future transactions. I just put on my auction a message that I prefer instant transfers, but gladly accept good old money orders and cashiers checks. Mind you, the things I've been selling lately are mostly old things of my own such as CDs.

Yesterday was Valentine's Day. Now this day sickens me enough as it is with everyone trying to show their significant others they care about them with over priced candy, shitty cards and flowers that are going to die in a matter of a week. If you love someone, you should show them every day, not just Valentine's Day.

But that's not my main reason for this turd. What really pisses me of are these assholes that call Valentine's Day "Singles Awareness Day". Are you that much of a douche that you have to acknowledge February 14th as that? Fuck you! You know what I called yesterday? Saturday, you cock suckers! I'm single (shocking, I know), and I could give two shits about Valentine's Day. If I had a girlfriend, I still wouldn't give a damn. So stop wallowing in your own self pity and grow a pair. Most importantly, stop broadcasting your self pity to everyone else. No one gives a a fuck about your depression and loneliness. I've got my own problems and don't want to hear sob story about how you're a douche bag and don't like girls, or whatever your malfunction is. Now fuck off!

Well it's certainly been a long time since anyone has dropped off a turd, let alone since my last juicy nugget! So in honor of Friday the 13th, I felt compelled write.

Friday the 13th has been long referred to as one of the unluckiest days. Well that my be true for most people, but in my case the other 364 days of the year are shitty. So to watch "normal" happy people have a bad day brings me great joy. It's about time you get shit on, you cock mongers!

"Oh no, I was in a car accident. It's because it's Friday the 13th!" No, asshole! Its because you weren't paying attention and ran a red light!

"Oops! I'm pregnant and not married and the father is Puerto Rican. Curse you Friday the 13th!" The date has nothing to do with the fact that you're a skank that will fuck anyone that looks in your general direction, you dumb cunt!

So if you're miserable all the time, enjoy today. Revel in the fact that people will realize that they are miserable too, even if just for one day. If someone tells you to "have a good Friday the 13th", slap the shit out of them, punch them in the throat and kick them in the kidneys. It's ok, you have the authority of Minivan to do so.

Why is it that the people in charge of YouTube find it necessary to update their systems so damn often? They update so often that I wonder if they even know what they're doing, or if they're even testing their shit before putting it up. YouTube keeps coming out with ideas for new features apparently, and sometimes, they are useful. I'll give them that. However, a lot of times that they update, some of the basic features get fucked to hell. Good luck trying to delete old messages, because YOU CAN'T DO IT NOW! Good luck trying to upload that important video that you've been holding on to for after the update process, because WE FUCKED THE UPLOADER!

YouTube is one giant clusterfuck of a mess sometimes. That's not a very good way to run a web site that is supposed to make money. It doesn't help to run ad-supported video on your site if the fucking thing won't load the video OR the ads! You would think that they would easily see this shit in the testing process, which leads me to believe that.... there IS NO TESTING PROCESS.

Maybe I shouldn't be bitching about a site that offers a nice free service though. They must have thousands of servers pumping countless bandwidth at all times. The thing is, there are alternative sites that offer the same service with better support that some people switch to. I think that YouTube people just don't try so hard because they know that they are the most well-known, and people will use their system regardless of how shitty it is because it offers the most exposure. What a bite in the ass!