An Unfortunate Truth

j-man Posted by: j-man on October 21 2007
Image Source: National Post


What must one do in order to win the Nobel Peace Prize?
Step 1: Develop a zealot-like devotion to a popular cause and parade around beating it like a dead horse until you have people following like mindless zombies.
Step 2: Make a boring-ass movie about said cause. Pass off your opinions as science, because nobody can argue with science. Extra points for making people believe you out of fear alone.

What I'm talking about of course is Al Gore's recent Nobel Peace Prize award. What a joke. Never mind for a second that the peace prize has lost all credibility long ago (Hitler was once a nominee for fucks sake). The problem here is that the idiotic general public has even more reason to follow Gore like he's some kind of new-age saint. Interestingly enough, saint may be an appropriate title for the shitbag because the conclusions he draws in that crappy film of his are based more on faith and beliefs than actual science.

For those fortunate enough to have not been exposed to Gore's movie, here's a quick synopsis: An Hour and a half of Al's wonderful monotone voice droning on and on whilst he shows his PowerPoint presentation. He presents lots of pretty charts and facts and then goes on to draw his own fearful conclusions based on the data. And this is some scary shit! For weeks I couldn't sleep because of the fear that Global Warming was hiding under my bed with the intent to kill me in my sleep.

Nobody is arguing that the world isn't getting hotter. It has been measured. The general trend over the last century or so is that the earth is getting warmer. The nutty professor goes on to explain how humans are the cause of the climate change and how we're sowing the seeds of our own apocalypse. Apparently he doesn't understand the scientific mantra that correlation does not imply causation. Has human activity had an impact on the environment? Probably. However the problem where most of these envirotards go wrong is that they take it to the next step and imply that we somehow control the long term global climate trends by way of carbon emission.

You’ve got to be either real naïve or real stupid to think that humans can currently control the earth’s climate using carbon emission as some sort of world thermostat. The inconvenient truth here is that we can’t control jack shit. We make up only a small piece of the pie, and there are a bunch of other driving factors out there at similar and greater orders of magnitude.

By far the worst of the mindless drivel that is being spewed forth from tree huggers everywhere is the constant fear mongering and doomsday tales that global warming will kill our children. By trying to stop global warming aren’t we automatically making the assumption that the current temperature is the optimal one? Who says that warmer won’t be better? Who cares if the ocean rises 23 inches, or if the polar bears die? Fuck polar bears. That’s what we have zoos for. On the bright side, we may be able to once again farm on Greenland. You know, start producing grains with which to make some beer. At which point we’ll be able to kick back, have a drink and maybe finally be able to shut the fuck up about global warming. Get off of your high horse and shove that peace prize up your ass.

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Flux Capacitors

j-man Posted by: j-man on October 15 2007


Just got back from the future, and it turns out that it sucks. Except for the future of the Craptank, that is. In the comming weeks I'm going to start rolling out "Craptank Classic" editions which will be a verbatim copy of the old Turds as they originally appeared in the Xanga days. Each of the classic turds will be re-posted here in random order over time until all of the contents of the old site are available here. Plans are to add a link to the sidebar over there ---> so that one can easily find all of the original content after it gets added.

I also plan to add more in the way of bookmarking/sharing buttons for some of the more popular sites such as Digg and Del.icio.us, as well as RSS feeds.

While we're on the topic of all things past and present, check out this video that our buddy Toolbelt has graciously put up in his AIM profile. Here's to being #1.

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Belkin 4-port wireless USB hub: Don’t buy it.

j-man Posted by: j-man on October 5 2007


The 4-port wireless USB hub from Belkin is a steaming pile of crap. Sure the idea of being able to put a USB hub virtually anywhere you want and have it work wirelessly is an awesome concept. Too bad the product doesn’t actually work anything like that.

Belkin advertises that you can get up to 30’ of range out of this thing which is actually not bad at all. Not bad until you read the fine print that you’ll only get the 30’ if the transmitter and receiver are in the same room. Ok, ok, so any rational person will realize that of course you’re going to lose some signal strength due to any kind of obstruction. The signal degradation due to an interior wall in a house shouldn’t be that bad right? Wrong, wrong, complete horse shit wrong. The damn thing will barely pick up a signal through an interior wall at 2’. Try moving 5’ away and the signal is gone completely.

When every other wireless device in my possession works perfectly across multiple rooms without flaw, the Belkin fails to deliver. What fucking good is wireless if you can’t even move into the next room without losing signal? Isn’t the whole point of having a wireless device the fact that you can move about untethered? Yeah, just be sure you don’t actually do anything completely crazy like leaving the room.

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A Charm

j-man Posted by: j-man on October 1 2007


Circa 2000, there was a network on the air that went by the name of TechTV. For those not in the know and unable to piece it together, it was basically a network dedicated to the nerd/geek culture. AKA, Computer Shit. It started to get popular to the point where it was bought out by Comcast. Of course, Comcast, doing what they do best, essentially ruined the network. They merged it with their piece of shit G4 network and turned it into another run-of-the-mill mainstream crapfest that centered around video game reviews. Surprise Surprise, nobody gives a rats ass.

Short story shorter, most of the people involved with the original TechTV network realize how everything was turning sour and either quit or end up getting their walkin' papers.

Along comes Revision3, a site created by, you guessed it - the former TechTV people. Consider it almost something along the lines of youtube, but with professionally developed content in lieu of retards on webcams lip-synching songs from My Chemical Romance. Instead, there are actually some shows/clips/etc worth watching...

Which brings me to my reason for crafting up this turd: PixelPerfect. PixelPerfect is a show that is dedicated to Photoshop. Each episode is essentially a short video tutorial showing how to create certain effects, or explaining how to use a set of tools and filters. Really cool if you've ever wanted to learn how to use photoshop, or learn new techniques... Even cooler since it's totally free!

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Made in China

j-man Posted by: j-man on September 28 2007


I didn't photoshop this up, but it was going around the office, and I found it highly amusing. Enjoy.

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