First off, all hail the return of the craptank! Secondly, thank you to j-man for the talk up. I'm sure my stories will entertain all, and make you feel a little bit better about your lives. We'll leave the "black baby" turd for a later time.
I feel as if I should leave some form of nugget, so I will do my best.
About a year ago, I joined a gym not far from my office. I felt it would be a good idea to go, perhaps lose a little weight and let out some frustration. As some of you know, they try to push the "personal training sessions" down your throat like trying to give a pill to a cat. You don't want it, but they cram it down your windpipe.
Anyway, I got a free session from one of the trainers, named Summer (more to come on this later).
I get there a couple days later to get this session over with. Turns out the trainer is like 30 minutes late. FIne, I putz around for a while. Summer then comes in wearing "stripper heels". Those 6" clear plastic shoes you see strippers and whores wear...apparently are great to work out in. We sit at a desk to go over the "training plan" she came up for me. She gives me a business card, where it says "Summer Muscle - personal trainer". I think this has got to be a joke. her name is Summer Muscle? On the other side of the card is "Louie's towing". What kind of half-assed business is this.
Then Summer asks me, out of nowhere, "Have you ever done speed?" What the fuck?!? I say no, and she goes into the back office. She comes out and puts a pill on the desk in front of me, and walks to have a conversation with another trainer. Not only is she supposed to be training me and not doing shit, but she's pushing mystery pills (which makes the whole pill down a cat's gullet even funnier). At that point, I packed up my shit and got the hell out of dodge.
2 days later, I get a phone call from Summer. She proceded to tell me she had been fired from the gym, and asked to not come back there even to work out. It seems I tend to attract all of the crazies!
So one of the things I had in mind for version "2.0" was a system whereby my trusted advisors (read: people i can put up with) could contribute directly.
With that said, i'd like to introduce the first contributor: Ed, aka Minivan. It's only fitting that he be the first here, as he was essentially the co-founder of the original craptank back in the day (although I ended up doing all the bitchwork, lazy bastard!). For those who were around then, you may remember him as the e-prop giving pimp edables.
In short, he's brutally honest, offensive, and blatantly disregards tactfulness. Oh, and he's got more great stories than the fuckin' bible! It's gonna be good times round here.
With that said, i'd like to introduce the first contributor: Ed, aka Minivan. It's only fitting that he be the first here, as he was essentially the co-founder of the original craptank back in the day (although I ended up doing all the bitchwork, lazy bastard!). For those who were around then, you may remember him as the e-prop giving pimp edables.
In short, he's brutally honest, offensive, and blatantly disregards tactfulness. Oh, and he's got more great stories than the fuckin' bible! It's gonna be good times round here.
Thar be more free booty on the horizon ARRRR! This link came up in IRC the other day (thanks asunder).. check out Seeqpod It's basically a web crawler that searches for mp3s hidden out there on the web and allows instant playback via a flash player and playlist engine. Want to hear Trivium's cover of Master of Puppets? type it in. Also includes a cool rolling list of what it's finding so you can check out stuff at random.
And for the piratin' type ARRRRR! it also lists the URL of the mp3.. the only thing it's really missing is bitrate info...
Enjoy
Heya shitheads! This crap-phoenix has finally risen from the sewer. Thats right.. The Craptank is back.
For all of the old regulars who enjoyed the first incarnation of the 'tank, you'll find a lot of the same here at the new site. But more importantly there'll be a lot of new things.. To start, the new site is based on some custom code designed to make it much much easier for me to post regularly. Even better, friends will be able to directly contribute as well.
You can still expect to see a lot of the same (often offensive) ass-kickery, but this time around, i'll also be focusing more on things I just happen to run across and find interesting. That way I can update the site more frequently without waiting around to make a major contribution.
To all the craptank newbies, feel free to check out the about page for some history and background. Check back early and often and you'll find what this site is really about soon enough.