So I've made some improvements to the Craptank over the past couple of days:
Comments are now posted with a timestamp so that everyone can know the exact minute you've posted the most profound statement the world has ever known.
Also, The code was updated to allow direct embedding of YouTube videos.
More improvements will be made as the site progresses... in the meantime, I leave you with this:
What the fuck is up with Maryland drivers? Do they not understand what the little stick on the left side of the steering column is? It's called a turn signal. Use it cocksucker! Are turn signals optional equipment on all cars sold in Maryland? I doubt it. It's there for a reason...to let people know that you are going to turn. Part of me just wants to plow into their back end for being fucktards, then again half of these people probably don't have insurance, let alone own the car they're driving. Towson is a shit hole. It's making New Jersey look better by the minute, and that's hard to do!
You're in your favorite store of choice. You have less than five items in your possession, waiting second in line to be checked out. The guy in front of you has all of his items rung up, and the total is displayed. He reaches for his pocket. You anticipate your turn within the next few moments, when all of a sudden, the most despicable thing happens.
THE ASSHOLE PULLS OUT A FUCKING CHECKBOOK!
Okay, I'm sorry, but using checks in a store that accepts Credit/Debit is inexcusable. The reason we have check cards (debit cards with a credit card logo) now is the fact that they are safer and faster than writing a damnated check. What the hell gives people the right to waste everyone's time when it is so easily avoidable by having your bank issue you a card to use?
So, let's run down the amount of effort the cashier has to exert after your slow handwriting finishes scrawling on your decorated piece of shit rectangle. First, the cashier needs to look it over to make sure your scribbles slightly resemble the proper date, amount, and "Pay To". Next, because of all the damn fraud going around, to prove you are authorized to use the check, you need to provide your driver's license, phone number, tissue sample, urine sample, the spare tire from your vehicle, birth certificates of your children and the pedophile rapist stalking them, and a copy of the contract you made with Satan to obtain your checks in the first place. After all that retardation is written on the check, it must then pass through a machine, which reads the special numbers at the bottom to contact your bank for approval.
Oh, and let's not forget about the fuckers who think they can throw a check at you when their account balance is already less than zero. After going through all those tedious minutes of identification bullshit, it takes me all of my will power to keep myself from jumping over the counter and strangling them to death. I can only imagine that most other cashiers feel the same way.
One more thing to consider is the crap that the poor people who work at the banks have to deal with, processing all of those checks, with money coming and going to and from countless locations. Can you imagine how long it must take them to do all that manual labor when a card could have processed it all automatically?
Writing checks: the most wretched form of terrorism in the world today
Osama's got nothing on these people.
In honor of Saturdays upcoming Penn State at Michigan game, I feel the urge to vent some hatred at Michigan head coach Lloyd "I look like a sad basset hound" Carr. My hatred isn't just at Lloyd Carr, actually. It's more of a hatred of everything about Michigan. In 2005, Lloyd cried to get 2 seconds put back on the clock, which ended up burning us with a touchdown to Mario Manningham with 1 second left.
In 2006, everyone got all hyped up with then #2 Michigan playing #1 Ohio State. Both were undefeated, and yes it was a good game. So what happens? Michigan loses, goes to the Rose Bowl and gets embarrassed by USC! WOO USC!!
Welcome to 2007! Here Droopy Face! Here's the #5 ranking because you are awesome. Seriously, why #5? After two straight losses, one of them humiliating, they are rewarded? I loved it when Appalachian State beat them, and then they got demolished by Oregon.
So prepare to bend over this Saturday, Lloyd! JoePa, Dan Connor and company are ready to ram it up your shit locker and mash your dinner! Oh sure, Penn State will say "They're a good football team and we have to prepare and blah blah blah", but you know everyone in that locker room is looking to make you look like an even bigger bitch. So fuck you Michigan! I hope to punish you by nailing all of your cheerleaders. Because as we all know, there is no greater punishment than having to get nailed by one big Minivan!
So asunder brought this to my attention, but he's too lazy to actually post something himself so here goes..
In case you haven't heard, CBS is going to run a new reality show entitled "Kid Nation". The basic premise is that they dump a bunch of kids in some ghost town in the middle of the desert and they have to create their own society, totally unsupervised by adults of course. In case you're wondering what kind of idiot would let their kids roam around in the goddamn desert by themselves, look no further than the parents who actually signed the release form. In short the form states that CBS is not liable if the kids die, get maimed, or become injured. Sweet!
Of course if these kids actually do end up dying, I guess it wouldn't be so bad as they wont be able to pass along their parent's retard genes. Go Darwin!
Now there's probably nothing worse than "reality" tv, but I might actually watch this in hopes of catching the episode where they burn their faces off and drink bleach.