The Craptank

Why is it that the people in charge of YouTube find it necessary to update their systems so damn often? They update so often that I wonder if they even know what they're doing, or if they're even testing their shit before putting it up. YouTube keeps coming out with ideas for new features apparently, and sometimes, they are useful. I'll give them that. However, a lot of times that they update, some of the basic features get fucked to hell. Good luck trying to delete old messages, because YOU CAN'T DO IT NOW! Good luck trying to upload that important video that you've been holding on to for after the update process, because WE FUCKED THE UPLOADER!

YouTube is one giant clusterfuck of a mess sometimes. That's not a very good way to run a web site that is supposed to make money. It doesn't help to run ad-supported video on your site if the fucking thing won't load the video OR the ads! You would think that they would easily see this shit in the testing process, which leads me to believe that.... there IS NO TESTING PROCESS.

Maybe I shouldn't be bitching about a site that offers a nice free service though. They must have thousands of servers pumping countless bandwidth at all times. The thing is, there are alternative sites that offer the same service with better support that some people switch to. I think that YouTube people just don't try so hard because they know that they are the most well-known, and people will use their system regardless of how shitty it is because it offers the most exposure. What a bite in the ass!

Alright first time that I've posted here, so I will keep it simple. I am sure that by this time everyone has heard about the iPhone that shipped with photos of a worker on the assembly line on it. Well did anyone notice that the factory is using PC's and not Apples to run the plant?

Does this mean that even Apple realizes their computers suck?

Since it's been over a month since anyone has passed a juicy nugget, I thought I would put an end to the constipation.

As some of you know, j-man and I recently spent a week in Las Vegas. We learned some things, and felt we should share our findings if you should ever decide to visit Sin City.

- Downtown Las Vegas (not the strip) is known as "Old Vegas" mostly because the average age of the gamblers and cocktail waitresses is roughly 97.

- Baseball card sized advertisements for strippers, most commonly known as "hooker trading cards", are handed out by some of the skeeziest Mexicans known to man. A fun thing to do is see who can collect the most. The way this is won is by the thickness of the stack of cards. All repeat cards must be discarded, as doubles do not count to the overall standings.

- If you meet a foreign broad at a bar, so not think you have a chance. She will lead you to believe yo have a chance of nailing her, but then you will find you that she only used you for free drinks and won't let you fuck her because you don't have a black cock.

- If girls are sitting around a bar by themselves, playing video poker at 3 am on a Wednesday, they are prostitutes. Another tell tale sign is their over-zealous nature to strike up a conversation with an ugly guy, followed by crowbarring the cost to "party" with them. I find it especially amusing to haggle with the prostitutes, and then tell them that you don't like to party. It should be noted that these prostitutes do NOT look like those shown on TV. They are much nastier!

There are many other nuggets to share with you, but that's all I feel like passing along at this time. j-man and I are available for any questions you may have, and I'm sure many other tid bits of info can be shard by either of us, or any of you who have experienced all the Las Vegas has to offer...unless you picked up herpes from a Vegas whore. That you can keep to yourself!

Folks, Lets face it. Destruction is way-fucking-awesome. As a species, we really loves us the hell out of some destruction and carnage... Especially when we're directly involved in it. Sure.. hurricanes, tornadoes, massive floods, wild fires and all other "acts of god" are cool enough on their own accord, but nothing quite compares to a good ol' fashioned man made disaster. Witness how people slow down to gawk at a car accident... They aren't slowing to ensure the safety of rescue workers, they're slowing to hopefully catch a glimpse of some other guy bent in a way that humans aren't designed to bend! Sure it may be sick and primitive, but it's true. We're a hostile and destructive race, and we're real good at it too!



To illustrate my point, there was a 1951 movie entitled The Day The Earth Stood Still about Klaatu, a man from outer space who lands his flying saucer on earth with the intent of helping humanity. The minute he steps out of his spaceship and declares that he comes in peace, we shoot him! Long story short, he recovers and attempts to get back to business.. but we plug him again, at which point he basically says "fuck yall, i've had enough of this shithole planet". It's actually a pretty good movie. Watch it if you get the chance.

Anyway, far be it from me to try to change the destructive will of humanity so therefore I present you with: Is It A Good Idea To Microwave This? If you love to watch things being destroyed (remember willitblend?) you'll love this. I'll leave you with a preview:

So this is old news by now, but I felt it would be appropriate to give tribute to one of the greatest comedians who ever lived.

Carlin was a true genius when it came to comedy and observations about the world in general. It's quite possible that without his influence there would be no Craptank at all.

There's shit-tons of his material on youtube in case you're interested, but i'll leave you with a clip from one of his last shows, most ironically, doing a bit about death.