Anyone who knows me is well aware of one of my overused catch phrases “reading’s for suckers.” Little did I know that there was more truth to that statement!
I’m going to make a long story short here, as most of the details mean nothing to the tale. My boss asks me where in the state stormwater management manuals is there any mention of a concept plan approval. Here is the line verbatim from the manual.
“Comments from the review agency during Concept approval will be addressed…” – Maryland Environmental Site Design (ESD) Process & Computations, July 2010, p. 10
As I show this to the boss, he says “that’s not what it means.” I may not be the sharpest tool in the shed, but I can read and do have a pretty good grasp of the English language and can comprehend simple sentences. Unless there has been some sort of meeting of dictionary publishers everywhere, I’m pretty sure approval still means that a higher authority has to give an ok before you can move on to the next step in the process.
This isn’t the first time I’ve been told by those who apparently are wiser and more powerful than me that the words I read don’t mean what they say.
The moral of the story, kids? Don’t bother with learning to read. Printed words mean nothing, and you can just do as you wish…unless someone with more money and higher connections feels like fucking you up the ass, then printed words mean everything!
Over the past few days, someone posted videos on Facebook that were taken during my senior year of high school…way back in 1999. Curiosity got the better of me and I decided I’d watch. As I sat through these 11+ minute epic pieces of footage, I can’t help but be proud of myself. Now this sense of pride isn’t from how cool I was, because we all know I wasn’t cool, nor did I make it into any of these videos. I’m quite proud of myself for not associating with these douche bags. And I’m even more proud of myself for not smacking the crap out of them or going all Columbine on their asses (I think enough time has passed where we can make jokes about a massacre at a high school. If you don’t think so, then why don’t you go floss with my ass hairs.)
Long story short, if someone tells you they were cool in high school, they’re lying. If they say they were a douche bag, they’re right. However, if they say they were a douche bag in high school, but are cool now, then they deserve to be slapped into reality. If they say they were a douche in high school and happen to have a shed full of ammonium nitrate in their back yard, then it may be wise to be friendly with that person!
Long story short, if someone tells you they were cool in high school, they’re lying. If they say they were a douche bag, they’re right. However, if they say they were a douche bag in high school, but are cool now, then they deserve to be slapped into reality. If they say they were a douche in high school and happen to have a shed full of ammonium nitrate in their back yard, then it may be wise to be friendly with that person!
You're a Fucking Moron! Now Listen to Me as I Discuss Religion
Posted by:
Xelger on September 4 2010
I had quite the unpleasant encounter recently with a certain YouTuber. They went onto an atheist video that asks logical questions that make the suggestions that there is no god. As I found out, this person is an extremely hardcore Christian who claims to have undeniable proof that God exists by having first-hand knowledge that nothing in the universe can move or be created without a mind and will behind it. Of course, claiming that he existed in space before he was born, with the capacity to see the world taking form is ludicrous, so I casually pointed out that it would take some kind of time machine to prove such a claim.
Well, now that the backstory is over, it's time for the main issue. He could do nothing but slander me, lie about me having a hardcore belief in evolution (which he couldn't type out without calling it "EVIL-ution"), and call me a moron and idiot over and over again. Now, at that point, I had to bring up how judgmental he was being, and the fact that he was slinging me into his stereotype of "the common atheist". You know what he does? He justifies his actions as "tough love". He doesn't even know the meaning of the term, but he's convinced that it's okay to break the laws of his own god (Judge not, lest ye be judged) as long as he can bullshit an excuse.
Now, I don't have a problem with him believing there's a god. That's not the point of this. The point is, if you expect someone to listen to you after insulting their intelligence with every single reply, as well as acting the hypocrite to your own teachings, you are extremely fucked up in the head. Nobody in their right mind would listen to a judgmental, stereotyping prick who is ready to jump to ridiculous conclusions about them. It makes you wonder if he didn't jump to his conclusions about religion too hastily as well.
In the end, all he could do was quote the most popular verses in the Bible that the little brat learned from Sunday school, and that was that. I had to lie to him, telling him that I appreciated his time to get him to shut the fuck up and stop insulting me. With Christians like that, even if he could prove God's existence, I'd flip the finger to his god and leave, because I wouldn't want anything to do with a group of assholes like that. I'd sacrifice my soul for my dignity.
Well, now that the backstory is over, it's time for the main issue. He could do nothing but slander me, lie about me having a hardcore belief in evolution (which he couldn't type out without calling it "EVIL-ution"), and call me a moron and idiot over and over again. Now, at that point, I had to bring up how judgmental he was being, and the fact that he was slinging me into his stereotype of "the common atheist". You know what he does? He justifies his actions as "tough love". He doesn't even know the meaning of the term, but he's convinced that it's okay to break the laws of his own god (Judge not, lest ye be judged) as long as he can bullshit an excuse.
Now, I don't have a problem with him believing there's a god. That's not the point of this. The point is, if you expect someone to listen to you after insulting their intelligence with every single reply, as well as acting the hypocrite to your own teachings, you are extremely fucked up in the head. Nobody in their right mind would listen to a judgmental, stereotyping prick who is ready to jump to ridiculous conclusions about them. It makes you wonder if he didn't jump to his conclusions about religion too hastily as well.
In the end, all he could do was quote the most popular verses in the Bible that the little brat learned from Sunday school, and that was that. I had to lie to him, telling him that I appreciated his time to get him to shut the fuck up and stop insulting me. With Christians like that, even if he could prove God's existence, I'd flip the finger to his god and leave, because I wouldn't want anything to do with a group of assholes like that. I'd sacrifice my soul for my dignity.
This past weekend I attended my cousins wedding. Anyone who knows me is well aware that I loathe any family gathering because it's going to be one huge inconvenience, and this function was no exception. But I'll save that commentary for another time. I'm going to rant about some points about weddings in general.
I understand that a majority of the wedding planning decisions are made by the bride, and it's her "special day" (not to be confused with that other "special day" that comes around every 28 days). It seems like men now make absolutely no attempt to have an opinion on what happenes at this event. If I ever get married (and may God have mercy on the woman that decides to accept that sentence), I will absolutely voice my opinion on things. For instance, why do we need to have 400,000 pictures taken? Why can’t it be a shot of bride and groom at the altar, wedding party at the altar, and immediate families? I don’t want a picture of me in a tux, with my coat over my shoulder and my foot propped up on a concrete step. Who cares!? And why would I want one of me and my groomsmen doing the same thing? Why does there have to be a picture of bride and groom walking into the sunset? From every movie I’ve seen, “walking into the sunset” signals the end of something, and that’s always a good message to send, that life is over once you get married!
And that brings me to another point. Why don’t people get married in churches anymore? And why are there so many “non-denominational” weddings? It’s the puss-ification of America! People are afraid of offending someone or imposing on their religious beliefs. Well if you’re going to be offended by attending a wedding mass, then don’t come! That’s why there’s a check box on the invitation that says “not able to attend”! Again, if I had my way in planning a wedding, it would be held in a Catholic church, and a full mass would be said. And just for effect, I would request that the mass be said in Latin, the way it was 50 years ago, when things were simpler and everyone wasn’t worried about offending Great Aunt Sally because she’s Methodist and doesn’t understand that there are other belief systems in the world!
So guys, stand up for yourselves! The words "I do" do not have to coupled with you handing over your testicles to some broad! If you want to have steak on the menu, along with whatever tofu hippie bullshit she read about in Cosmo, then by God have it! Just never forget the credo of the married man..."Women - Can't live with 'em, can't kill 'em!"
I understand that a majority of the wedding planning decisions are made by the bride, and it's her "special day" (not to be confused with that other "special day" that comes around every 28 days). It seems like men now make absolutely no attempt to have an opinion on what happenes at this event. If I ever get married (and may God have mercy on the woman that decides to accept that sentence), I will absolutely voice my opinion on things. For instance, why do we need to have 400,000 pictures taken? Why can’t it be a shot of bride and groom at the altar, wedding party at the altar, and immediate families? I don’t want a picture of me in a tux, with my coat over my shoulder and my foot propped up on a concrete step. Who cares!? And why would I want one of me and my groomsmen doing the same thing? Why does there have to be a picture of bride and groom walking into the sunset? From every movie I’ve seen, “walking into the sunset” signals the end of something, and that’s always a good message to send, that life is over once you get married!
And that brings me to another point. Why don’t people get married in churches anymore? And why are there so many “non-denominational” weddings? It’s the puss-ification of America! People are afraid of offending someone or imposing on their religious beliefs. Well if you’re going to be offended by attending a wedding mass, then don’t come! That’s why there’s a check box on the invitation that says “not able to attend”! Again, if I had my way in planning a wedding, it would be held in a Catholic church, and a full mass would be said. And just for effect, I would request that the mass be said in Latin, the way it was 50 years ago, when things were simpler and everyone wasn’t worried about offending Great Aunt Sally because she’s Methodist and doesn’t understand that there are other belief systems in the world!
So guys, stand up for yourselves! The words "I do" do not have to coupled with you handing over your testicles to some broad! If you want to have steak on the menu, along with whatever tofu hippie bullshit she read about in Cosmo, then by God have it! Just never forget the credo of the married man..."Women - Can't live with 'em, can't kill 'em!"
When I was in college, I thought architects were the pain in the ass of the engineer. Well as I've progressed through my career, I've learned that architects are the least of my worries. The real pain in the engineers ass is the land planner!
I had a set of plans together for a residential project all ready to submit for review. I give it to someone to take up to the county for me, when I get told to hold off, because some changes may be made. "They probably won't change, but better safe than sorry." Fine. So I wait...and wait...and wait.
Fast forward to two days ago, when I get told "some changes were made. Can you get it done in 2 days?" Sure, no problem. Of course I said that while thinking that planning had already made their changes. Boy was I wrong! The changes weren't actually made until a day later. So basically I have 1 day to do a total redesign. I'm a little perturbed, but it's still managable.
Fast forward to today. I'm plowing through my design, about ready to finalize it, and just do the drafting. Then I get a little blip on my computer telling me "something changed." God damn planners moved shit on me again! I swear to Christ these people can't make up their fucking minds! So now I have like half a day to mold this pile of shit into a Michaelangelo sculpture. Well that's not gonna happen. I'm gonna mold this pile of shit into a different looking pile of shit, because chances are everything is going to be fucked again, and why bother making it right if these ass hats are going to say to themselves "hey it got it working, now lets fuck it back up again!" Cocksuckers!
I had a set of plans together for a residential project all ready to submit for review. I give it to someone to take up to the county for me, when I get told to hold off, because some changes may be made. "They probably won't change, but better safe than sorry." Fine. So I wait...and wait...and wait.
Fast forward to two days ago, when I get told "some changes were made. Can you get it done in 2 days?" Sure, no problem. Of course I said that while thinking that planning had already made their changes. Boy was I wrong! The changes weren't actually made until a day later. So basically I have 1 day to do a total redesign. I'm a little perturbed, but it's still managable.
Fast forward to today. I'm plowing through my design, about ready to finalize it, and just do the drafting. Then I get a little blip on my computer telling me "something changed." God damn planners moved shit on me again! I swear to Christ these people can't make up their fucking minds! So now I have like half a day to mold this pile of shit into a Michaelangelo sculpture. Well that's not gonna happen. I'm gonna mold this pile of shit into a different looking pile of shit, because chances are everything is going to be fucked again, and why bother making it right if these ass hats are going to say to themselves "hey it got it working, now lets fuck it back up again!" Cocksuckers!